


Close Your Eyes

by Krystalicekitsu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-11
Updated: 2011-01-11
Packaged: 2017-10-19 01:23:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/195328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krystalicekitsu/pseuds/Krystalicekitsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter what he does, what he says, Gabriel can't hear him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> for the [](http://spn-gabriel-sam.livejournal.com/profile)[**spn_gabriel_sam**](http://spn-gabriel-sam.livejournal.com/) [Ficbattle](http://community.livejournal.com/spn_gabriel_sam/115242.html#cutid1). For round three with the prompt- _'Angst: " **The first sort by their own suggestions fell, Self-tempted, self-depraved: man falls deceived. By the other first: man therefore shall find grace, The other none** " - John Milton, Paradise Lost_

Slowly, ever so slowly the darkness creeps out. As the sun falls down, Sam watches with a flicker of dread amidst a sea of resignation. Another night beginning.

It starts off small, a whimper as the light dwindles from the motel room, settling into twilight slowly. As the light dies further and then faster and faster, the whimpers progress into sobs.

Sam stays by the window. He doesn't want to watch this again. The nights he's put in have already been too many. He's not sure how much more he can take.

The sobs don't get louder as the last rays of daylight slip into nothingness. They don't do much of anything, but they never have to. The heart wrenching agony, the fear and loss in the sound tears at his heart, strips away the defenses he spends each day erecting.

He can't. Just- He can't.

No matter what he does, what he says, Gabriel can't hear him.

" _Sammy-_ "

Gabriel's choked off sob of his name makes him want to hit something, to rage and destroy. He wants to erase the desolation in that voice, but he can't. he's tried for three months everything he could think of and at the end, he's found nothing at all that changes Gabriel's perception of him. He can't change the world around him, can't touch anything, can't touch the archangel. He's not _here_ and Sam can't take it.

Gabriel never changes, never moves and Sam can't figure out why for the life of him.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Gabriel…" The voice is slightly muffled through the motel room door, but Sam has yet to see Cas pop in once in the three months he's been watching.

Like the three times previous, Gabriel doesn't say anything, lying now on his back, staring vacantly up at the ceiling.

"I… Gabriel, this- Gabriel, I wish you'd just _talk_ with me. This isn't… isn't normal. You weren't- You never-," a long silence and Sam thinks he can hear a sigh somewhere in there. "I know it hurts. I know that- …I'm _sorry_ , Gabriel. Truly, I am sorry."

Sam sits up slowly from where he'd been lying on the floor near the door. Something's _hurting_ him?! Sam had just- Sam had thought that- Sam-

Sam didn't know what he'd thought but it hadn't been that.

Gabriel's an _archangel_. Nothing short of God or an angel blade should be able to injure him. Sam doesn't know what to do with this. If he could touch something, could interact with _anything_ , he'd figure out a way to fix this.

But, until Dean or Cas find the witch that cursed him, he can't do anything.

It's just…

Sam can't remember fighting a witch in a year or more.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Gabe-," Dean sounds drunk. Drunk and self-depreciating like he usually does. Sam may be a depressing drunk, but Dean is worse because Dean only gets drunk when things have progressed from 'bad' to 'hopeless'.

Sam wonders if Cas died.

"I- Gabe- He- …. _Please_ , Gabe, he-… You're all I have left. Just, _please_ ," a sob divides the word but Gabriel is silent beside him on the bed. Dean sounds worse than 'hopeless'; he sounds broken.

" _Fix him!_ " Sam shouts at the door, frustrated and annoyed that no one but him could see how far and fast Gabriel is sinking. These days the tears don't start at sunset; they've never stopped to begin with. The sobs have died down, but the broken, empty shell is worse than the pain.

At least with the pain, Sam knew he was alive. Now, Sam has no way of telling Gabriel from his empty vessel.

But the words never reach Dean, just like all the words he's thrown for the past four months have been ineffective. Sam's moved from 'resigned' back into frustrated sorrow.

"Please, Dean, god, just fix him," Sam breathes the words into his chest, staring down at Gabriel (his vessel) and wills him to get better. To wake up and tell him to stop being such an emo princess. Anything.

But Dean doesn't hear him.

"I can't- I can't lose you too, Gabriel. My- I can't lose any more people." Sam gets the impression of a hand resting on the door, some sort, _any_ sort of connection desperate to be established.

But, in the end, Dean couldn't do what Sam couldn't.

~~~~~~~~~~

By the ninth month, Sam has given up on Dean and Cas finding the spell the demon cast to hide him from everyone and everything. He thinks it'd be pretty easy; spells to shift people that slightly out of phase with reality took up a lot of power and it wouldn't be easy to conceal it.

Gabriel doesn't do anything anymore; even the tears have stopped.

~~~~~~~~~~

A year to the day, or so Sam thinks, Dean knocks on the motel door one last time.

"Gabriel," his voice is small and sad. "You need to move on. This isn't what he would have wanted. Even if that demon hadn't come in, there was no guarantee the bonding wouldn't have-," Dean's voice shakes slightly, but he continues, "-wouldn't have torn apart anyway. With everything Azazel and Ruby did… Cas agrees with me; he-," a choked breath of air, stumbling words, "-Sam… Cas says he didn't have very high odds anyway. Gabriel he wouldn't- Sam wouldn't have wanted you to die for him."

"Please, Gabriel."

Gabriel doesn't move.


End file.
